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8 Comics Characters Who Disappeared With No Explanation

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Superman seems fine with the idea of an alternate version of himself living a lie and being married against his will and laughs at the whole thing, ignoring the fact that it easily could have been him stuck in a relationship with the two manipulative bitches.

Hal Jordan, the Green Lantern, is basically considered on equal footing with Superman when it comes to the whole righteousness and high moral standards thing, which is what made it so weird when Hal started dating a year-old member of the Green Lantern Corps.

Her name was Arisia, and she was an alien who came to Earth to help fight off the ridiculous number of villains we have on our planet.

She was also completely in love with Hal, which she made clear as frequently as possible. To be fair to Hal, he took her aside eventually and told her to back the fuck off and go after boys her own age before she got him into shit over her crush.

She tried to argue that she really loved him, but eventually she was shot down and ran away in tears.

So, that's that then -- he broke a little girl's heart, but his integrity is fully intact. Nice work. Well, at least it is until Arisia uses her Green Lantern ring to make her body age itself into a fully grown woman in a matter of hours, and that changes everything!

OK, so physically she looks older now, but that doesn't change the fact that she's still mentally and emotionally only Hal explains to her that even if this was OK which it's not!

And on this point he is very firm, and sad. Hal's iron will is able to fend off Arisia's advances for a whopping three more pages, when the rest of the Green Lantern Corps comes to rescue the two of them and finds:.

So apparently all that morality and righteousness garbage goes flying out the window when developed breasts and long legs are involved.

Arisia still has the mind-set and life experiences of a girl just years old, but Hal, an intergalactic space cop, says, "No, yeah, I know, but still: titties.

So Hal's happy, Arisia's happy, and the readers at home are left shifting uncomfortably and wondering whether they have to turn these comics in to the cops as some kind of twisted child pornography.

In this early Superman story, we find Superman's first cousin, Supergirl, starting to get worried that Superman will never choose a wife and will end up alone forever.

He tells her that he's never going to get married, so he can devote his life to defending Earth, to which we Earth residents say, "Awesome!

Deciding that meddling in his life in a totally unrequested way is her only obvious choice, she starts trying to set Superman up with famous women in history and other superheroes, all with disastrous results.

She apologizes to her cousin for meddling, and we then learn the creepy truth -- that Superman isn't as opposed to marriage as he previously said, it's just that he totally, definitely wants to marry his cousin.

Oh, and by the way, she's 16, just in case this wasn't quite creepy enough as is. Superman makes it perfectly clear that if it wasn't against the law on their home planet, he and Supergirl would be knocking Super-boots right now.

Hell, from the looks of things, he can barely restrain himself from pouring them some wine and having a two-person tango right there in the Fortress of Solitude.

Still determined to get Superman a wife, Supergirl steals a play from the previously discussed creepy Superman comic and finds an exact copy of herself in an alternate dimension that is all grown up and suggests that Superman go marry that girl.

Instead of waving off her childish love fantasies, Superman thinks this is a great chance to fulfill his lifelong cousin-marrying fantasy and flies to the alternate reality, where he immediately starts macking on the clone of his cousin and asks her to marry him, no questions asked.

Not even "Have you been tested lately? In the end, there's a whole lot of crying, some unresolved sexual tension and Superman flying away sadly, still pining after his teenage cousin.

Yeah, here's your superhero, folks -- a shining example of moral integrity. Don't worry about him being near your daughters, though -- he only likes people he's related to.

You're good. In the early days of X-Men , Nightcrawler's origin was a mystery, until the team got dragged into hell by Margali, Nightcrawler's adopted, gypsy mother, in order for him to go on trial for killing Margali's son, Stefan, who was Kurt's adopted brother.

During the middle of Nightcrawler's hell-trial, his adopted sister Jimaine, who we assume must have just been taking a casual stroll through hell at the time and came to see what was going on, appears in Kurt's defense.

All three kids, Kurt, Jimaine and Stefan, were raised from birth together until they were in their 20s, but Kurt hasn't seen Jimaine in years, as he thought she also blamed him for killing their brother and had abandoned him.

Kurt finds out he was very wrong about his sister, but very soon the readers at home begin to wish he had been right.

Kurt is found innocent, and they are all returned to Earth where Kurt asks his sister where she's been all this time.

The answer is more disturbing than pretty much anything we could ever make up, as she reveals to him that she's actually been around for several months, disguised as a regular human named Amanda Sefton.

Why is that such a big deal? Amanda Sefton is Nightcrawler's girlfriend, and they've been banging for the last few months, which means that Kurt's sister secretly started dating him when she was fully aware that they were brother and sister the whole time.

Sure, they're not related by blood, but they had been raised together since Kurt was "barely an hour old," and it doesn't matter what anyone tries to argue, anyone with siblings knows that's the exact same thing as being related, and totally and utterly gross.

Kurt is very religious and didn't know anything about this, so of course he's got to freak out about the fact that he was sleeping with his sister all this time.

This isn't Wolverine or Gambit we're talking about here, who have somewhat loose morals when it comes to women.

Nightcrawler is the most righteous overly religious character the team's ever had. Maybe mutants really do need to be eliminated from the Earth if this is the kind of low moral guidelines they live their lives by.

And just for the record, other than Colossus' brief look of surprise, no one else has any kind of problem with this at all, even when they both start talking about their mom, making it very clear that they still really think of each other as siblings.

But maybe we can give him the benefit of the doubt. Sure, he's been banging his sister, but that doesn't mean he's going to keep banging his sister, right?

That would probably be going too far, especially for a hardcore Catholic like Kurt. This is going to be a strictly siblinglike relationship from now on.

Be sure to pick up our new book. It's Stan Lee approved. And stop by Linkstorm to see who's quicker in the sack: Superman or Flash.

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